after the last post let me tell you about the third dog
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Posted:Mar 23, 2012 7:50 am
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2012 2:30 am
7750 Views
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One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do Two can be as bad as one It's the loneliest number since the number one
No is the saddest experience you'll ever know Yes, it's the saddest experience you'll ever know `Cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do One is the loneliest number, worse than two
It's just no good anymore since she went away Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday
One is the loneliest, number one is the loneliest Number one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do One is the loneliest, one is the loneliest One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do It's just no good anymore since she went away
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Riddle me this, croak!!
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Posted:Mar 23, 2012 7:17 am
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2012 5:49 am
7713 Views
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Q. What was Jeremiah Bullfrogs middle name?
A. Warren.... but everyone just calls him Wazza!
i made that one up lol!
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the size of the fight in the dog
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Posted:Mar 23, 2012 6:41 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2012 6:50 am
7787 Views
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At 60, Warren had seen neighbours come and go in the rental next door. For the most part, they all annoyed him. His new neighbour, Simon, who seemed nice, if not a bit gay, was tolerable in his nightime habits, for which Warren was gratefull, especially after the nasty incident with the fire extinguisher and Debbie, his last neighbour.
Hugo though!! Hugo's presence was intolerable!!
Warren hated dogs, and Hugo was the biggest of them all.
A large blond Great Dane, Simon would walk him every morning. He would wave every day to Warren as Hugo deposited an amazingly large turd onto Warrens footpath.
"Morning Neighbour"" Simon would say as his shat, oblivious to local laws or Warrens gaping jaw. Now Warren wasnt one for confrontation. He just fumed in silent irritation.
The plan came to him one night as he lay awake.
Next morning after Hugo had thunderously deposited ex-PAL onto Warrens strip, Warren grinned and waved them down the street.
After waiting five minutes, Warren jumped the fence, giggling and cackling, he dropped his skivvies and proceeded to shit a steaming eight inch fully formed turd onto Simons back doorstep. He was proud of his achievement, at least eight inches, maybe more and worthy of anything Hugo could muster!
For five days he kept up this routine.
On the sixth day, Simon called him to the back fence.
"Hey Warren, you havent heard any strange noises coming from my backyard mate"" he said.
"None at all" said Warren"why do you ask?
""I think my dogs sick, he's pooping much more than usual"
Öh I dont think so"said Warren, smirking to himself, "He's always been so regular"!
"No, not Hugo "said Simon"" I'm talking about Scampy!, I let him into the backyard every morning for a run, and lately his poo's have been almost as long as him!"
Warren choked back his lunch as he heard Simons Chihuahua bark knowingly at him from under the ederberry bush.
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"There are times when real people let you down
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Posted:Mar 23, 2012 5:56 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2024 11:1 am
7670 Views
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There is an unspeakable beauty to the music of Nick Cave. Raw, gut-wrenching, scream inducing, heart melting magnificence. "" The Boatmans Call"" has comforted me so many times, more times than I could possibly repay him. Such a fucked little insect!
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Unwell
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Posted:Mar 16, 2012 9:56 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2012 5:21 am
7688 Views
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im not feeling myself, at the moment.
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Oh baby baby its a wild world
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Posted:Jan 20, 2012 5:11 am
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2012 9:55 am
7373 Views
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Maybe this whole living in Brisbane thing has sucked out my writers soul. . . . . nope
Just took some adjusting
Im battered and bruised by this city, but Im not beaten.
More to come, I need to get drunk.
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Nahh!
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Posted:Oct 28, 2011 5:06 am
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2012 6:52 am
7462 Views
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Wouldn't it be funny if I decided to strat blogging again?
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Posted:Mar 3, 2011 4:29 am
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2012 6:07 am
8108 Views
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"Man, I'm lovin' Charlie Sheen's work!! What a man!! Like he's fucking Bree Olson ( a personal favorite slut of the j'mons) every night, he feels the need to share her with another less privileged woman. And his get to share in the fun. I mean love their mummies , right! What could be better than lots and lots of mummies???
(Americans note: In Australia its mummy not mommy)
Anyway, back to Champagne Charlie,
Go for it man , what a life!!
All the booze, crack, and top class porn stars you can have.
Man, Id be there with bells on , I really mean it!!
But I'm not a father.
Then again, neither are you.
So don't bitch when they confiscate your issue you party cunt!!
Just enjoy Bree and the rocks!
Life is good.
The title is an old Split Enz song possibly their best.
Might be worth a look on the tube.
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Beiber, Beiber,Beiber... Thats all folk's !!!!
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Posted:Feb 25, 2011 4:21 am
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2012 6:09 am
7806 Views
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Try this little exercise!
Humour me!
Pout your lips.
With your index finger, Repeatedly stroke downward from your top lip to your bottom lip, all the while chanting the word ,"Beiber"'
Do this for about a minute.
Now!! , You have some concept as to why he is so popular.
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Jazzman
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Posted:Dec 10, 2010 4:25 am
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2010 6:27 pm
7792 Views
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I haven't blogged for so long and maybe tonight is a reason to start again. My good friend Phil Wright passed away this week. I found out this morning, and ya know what? I miss him already.
Philip was everybody's friend.. even if he didn't know you, his philosophy was that strangers are just friends you haven't met yet.
A true genius and master craftsman of the Jazz Guitar.
Vale' my good mate, I will miss you terribly!
Perce!
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Side note
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Posted:Nov 19, 2010 3:18 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2024 11:1 am
7828 Views
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Oh! By the way? Did I mention? The Saint George Dragons won the ARL Premiership??
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One for the girls!
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Posted:Oct 13, 2010 4:58 am
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2010 11:01 pm
7768 Views
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Apparently there is a new Julia Roberts Movie coming out?
J'mon is not impressed!!
It clashes with his new lifestyle film!!
"Drink, Spew, Fuck"
lol, aww just me being silly!!!!!
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Worm
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Posted:Oct 1, 2010 6:51 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2024 11:1 am
7758 Views
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Enough
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To link to this blog (Jollymon61) use [blog Jollymon61] in your messages.
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